Sunday, February 14, 2010

Review – Elliott Brood at LiveCity Downtown, Vancouver, Feb 14 2010


No matter how amazing the Polaris-nominated Elliott Brood is, it’s still hard to believe that the large crowd braving the hellish line and airport security type restrictions at LiveCity Downtown Feb 14 was entirely there to see the band. Where were the masses in October when the Toronto three-piece brought the Biltmore to its knees? But with its enthusiasm, the audience, the majority of which probably still have no idea who played, could’ve fooled anyone.

For the full review and more pictures check out Guttersnipe.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Friday, February 12, 2010

Review – Vivian Girls at the Biltmore Cabaret, Vancouver, Feb 12 2010

“That’s a fucking funny ass song to fight to,” proclaimed Best Coast’s front woman Bethany Cosentino. “It’s all about loving each other and shit...”

Leave it to Vancouver concert goers to provide something to write about, nicely removed from the Olympic madness. Later dubbed “the hipster fight” in good natured jest by the bouncers, a hilarious little brawl broke out amongst the patrons of the Biltmore Cabaret during the L.A. band’s third song. No one was hurt in the mêlée, but it must’ve left quite the impression as this was the band’s first trip to Canada. “With ravers as hard as you, we’ll def be back...”

For the rest of the review and pictures, check out Guttersnipe.

Coming soon: Interviews with Black Wizard and DB Buxton

Look for the new edition of the Skinny Magazine any day now in print and online.

In the meantime checkout Black Wizard at: http://www.myspace.com/blackwizardcom

And DB Buxton at: http://www.myspace.com/dbbuxton

http://www.myspace.com/theorpheans

http://www.myspace.com/dbbuxtonsoloartist

http://www.myspace.com/adultcontempt

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Gwar---the most charmingly vulgar gentlemen from outer space you’ll ever meet


An intimate interview with the supreme overlord of Earth, Oderus Urungus
By Kristina Mameli, the Other Press

It’s been 25 blistering years of interplanetary insanity, but one thing’s for sure: the legacy of the kings of kitschy thrash will remain intact long after the band succeeds in getting the intergalactic drug trade back up and running. Hours before a sold out show at the plastic sheathed Commodore Ballroom, the Other Press sat down with Oderus Urungus, the mighty leader of Gwar and ruler of Earth, to discuss the impending destruction of the human race among other things.

Whether you happen to be familiar with the mythology that surrounds Gwar or not, you can certainly appreciate their relentless touring schedule, astounding attention to detail and sheer dedication to the world they, with the help of their fans, have crafted through music and performance. Urungus and guitarist Balsac the Jaws of Death concisely summed up Gwar’s storied past.

“Born for war, joined the Master Scumdog Legion, fucked up so bad, was loaded into the Butt Canon, shot to Earth, killed the dinosaurs, mated with the apes, created the human race, sank Atlantis, banished to Antarctica, frozen solid, millions of years went by, ozone layer depleted, hairspray metal, Gwar thawed out…take it Balsac.”

“Sleazy P. Martini finds us, turns us into a rock band and we conquer the earth. Done.”

“He skipped the crack part. Sleazy P. [who invented crack] finds us, gets us addicted to crack, then all the other stuff happened. Ever since then---25 years; it’s been like an eye blink.”

Urungus, chewing beef jerky and chain smoking, was extremely cordial and nonchalant for the supreme overlord of the universe, and he was happy to be back in Canada.

“Canada is a thriving cess pool of fucked up Gwar freaks who demand their Gwar,” began Urungus. “They really put the United States to shame at a lot of these gigs.”

Gwar has toured the world over, with the sole aim of systematically destroying the planet. Though, as Urungus revealed, the band is directionally challenged, something that greatly hinders its ability to do so. “All of my destructive efforts have basically been in America and Canada. Talk about having trouble getting somewhere, we can’t find Japan. It’s just one little island out there in this big blue blob…we’ve destroyed Pago Pago so many times I can’t count. In fact, they’re just calling it Pago now.”

Urungus attributed the difficulty of vanquishing places like Japan to the fact that Gwar is forced to travel everywhere on foot. “We can walk across the bottom of the ocean or use our Jesus boots and walk on the surface, but there’s a lot of the world left to conquer. There’s a lot of killing to be done,” he said almost disturbingly passively, “and unless we improve our navigational abilities, I’m afraid we’ll never conquer planet earth. If I can’t find Japan, how can I destroy it? I mean, if there were enough places to play we probably would play every second.”

“If we could get that time machine working then we could go back and tour 1992,” Balsac the Jaws of Death piped in.

“Yes! The time machine! I’d forgotten it,” said Urungus.

But the real question: why 1992?

“That’s the year of Hannah Montana’s birth,” said Urungus, alluding to the possible need to destroy her.

“I’m a huge Hannah Montana fan,” said Balsac, stifling that notion. “I would however, destroy Miley Cyrus. That buck toothed red neck whore has been riding on Hannah Montana’s coat tales for far too long.”

“We can’t tolerate it,” said Oderus.

Love of Hannah Montana and hate for Miley Cyrus aside, rumours that the Lust In Space tour will be Gwar’s last have been circulating for some time; but Urungus quickly put a stop to any such thinking. “We like to dangle that in front of everyone’s faces just so they can reflect on the misery they’ll have when Gwar is gone,” he laughed manically. “It brings me delight. For right now the human race is safe. You see, Cardinal Sin has stamped out all crack cocaine in outer space and Earth is the only place where I can score. So, being completely addicted to crack cocaine, needing it to live, I’m just stuck here until we can figure out how to get crack back into space. That’s our goal now: to distribute the rock.”

A quarter century down the line, Gwar’s stage show continues to improve with each tour. To mark its landmark anniversary, the band has continued its admirable touring schedule, put out a new record and a boxed set, appeared on FOX news and released an Xmas single. “Everything we do is special,” said Urungus. “We’re Gwar! When we take a crap it’s beautiful…”

During the show, the band is notorious for slaughtering effigies of public figures while spewing green and red goo on the audience. Who Gwar chooses to take issue with seems to vary from show to show, however. “If I tell you who we’re mutilating and sodomizing and murdering, then no one’s going to have any fun, except me,” snarled Urungus. “We’re definitely going to kill the president because that’s just a Gwar tradition, and let’s see, who else? A lot of intergalactic assholes…Gwar has hooked up with an unnamed celebrity who recently died who was the biggest pop star ever---we’re giving him another shot. I’m not going to say who it is, except his initials are M.J., but I can’t really leak that information…he will be coming back to do a final performance for the human race.”

A select few Gwar fans, those willing to pay top dollar, are privy to special “meet and beat” sessions with the band before shows. “You have to pay a lot of money to get back there,” revealed Urungus. “It’s just a ploy designed to sell these tour programs we’ve got and it’s working splendidly---of course, motivated like everything else by money.”

At an official press conference in Montreal, Urungus mentioned that the H1N1 epidemic is in fact a government conspiracy. He offered some interesting social commentary on the subject: “it’s lame. I mean so many more people die of cancer and AIDS, why are they worried about this? People should die anyway. I mean, they’re supposed to die. Instead of these government centres where they give out vaccines, let’s go to the government and get diseases. You can sign up for all those social programs and get free drugs and free money---the more people are sick, the better the country does.”

Gwar thinks of themselves as historians rather than story tellers. “We don’t make up anything; this is all real. This is where Gwar has a leg up on bands like Lordi and Slipknot. They’re emulating Gwar, but they’re just people dressed up as monsters.”

Further to that shocking truth, in 1993, Gwar was first nominated for a Grammy for the film Phallus In Wonderland. The band was not welcome at the event, but chose to go anyway, allegedly leading to huge brawl with security. “I believe the guy who played Captain Piccard got a black eye…and there was some spilt champagne and some hurt feelings,” said Urungus of the catastrophic event. “If that’s debauchery, then I’m Marry Poppins.”

Recording any Gwar album is quite the ordeal. “[There’s] yelling, screaming, fighting, smashing equipment, blowing up large sections of real estate, dead producers, crucified catering crews, and finally music. Rocking…then back to that other stuff for awhile, then new album.”

Lust In Space is Gwar’s 11th studio album, an effort that as Urungus described is “simply magnificent.” According to Urungus, the band’s inspiration comes from the events of their everyday lives. “Fighting giant robots, smoking crack, running into our old general at intergalactic truck stops---”

“It’s really an album for everyday people doing everyday things,” interrupted Balsac.

“This is how we grew up,” chimed in Urungus. “We’re singing songs about the streets; trying to keep it real.”

As the band increases in popularity, Urungus maintains that the human race doesn’t get it at all. “Some of them do, and those are the Gwar fans, but the great majority of the human race is far too stupid to understand the nuances and the complex subtleness that is Gwar.”

When asked if the band is currently writing, Urungus explained that though Gwar hasn’t written a single note yet, they already know exactly what the album will sound like. “It’s basically walk into the studio and just plug in. Done. Balsac just has to touch one button and the album will instantaneously appear in record stores everywhere.”

Urugus explained that though it’s just that easy, when coupled with the lengthy process of getting there, it could take several years. “We’re going to get out it in a year. We’re going to try really hard for all those retard kids out there, we’re going to try…”

Gwar’s latest, Lust In Space, is now available from Metal Blade Records.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

In pictures: the Furies







January 10th 2010 at Malone's.

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2010: The year of the Bonitos.

Introducing Vancouver’s newest punk band…shooting clams and taking names.
By Kristina Mameli, the Skinny

Prior to this, I’d never heard of anyone interviewing a band that no one other than the band members themselves had ever heard, let alone interviewed one myself; but those familiar with the Vancouver music scene are no doubt well acquainted with how persuasive former Black Halos frontman Billy Hopeless can be. I could already tell this was going to be interesting; a challenge. With that in the back of my mind, I had the distinct privilege of conducting the inaugural Bonitos interview over a beer at their jam space days before the band’s debut gig.

For his new project, Hopeless hand selected each member of the band with one goal:
to find a group of like-minded individuals to create his own favourite band and in so doing revive rock n’ roll in Vancouver, dispelling the No Fun City myth.

The incredibly sweet players each uniformly introduced themselves, highlighting their backgrounds and explaining how they came to be recruited.

“I started out east, moved all the way out here, and ran into Billy at a lingerie shop,” perhaps slightly sarcastically recalled guitarist Chris Walsh Bonito. “He helped me try on some new thongs, stuff like that. I met the other guys; they seemed down with it---”

“Chris used to be in a band called the Daggers,” broke in Hopeless amongst the laughter. “We played with them in Calgary and I was just too messed up to know what was going on or if they were any good really, but I got a 7 inch and I really liked it.”

A friend of Hopeless’ later drunkenly recommended Walsh.

“And that’s all it took,” smiled Walsh.

Originally from Calgary, bassist Kato Bonito played mostly in cover bands before being enlisted. “I didn’t play in anything anyone’s ever heard of before,” mused Kato. “I had Billy fill in on a couple of my projects and they were fucking fun. Then we were talking and I said we had to do something original because covers are fun, but your own shit’s better.”

Guitarist and Vancouverite Pinto Bonito and Hopeless go a little further back, but not necessarily in a positive way. Pinto’s former bands were both rivals of Hopeless’ former projects. “Both the Saddle Sores and Crystal Pistol were bands that the Black Market Babies and the Black Halos were at war with; literally at war with,” revealed Hopeless. “So it’s really great to have Pinto in the band because of both those bands I thought Pinto was the cool guy. He was always the Johnny Thunders; great guitar player, great energy on stage and a really great guy.”

Formerly of “the ultimate tribute to Kiss” Black Diamond, drummer Mark Cuzzetto Bonito grew up alongside Hopeless. “I’ve known Billy since before he was completely hopeless,” said Cuzzetto with a smile.

“I was still called Hopeless back then.”

“Yeah, we pretty much knew you were hopeless from day one.”

Hopeless meticulously and painstakingly researched each member, coming across Cuzzetto on Myspace. “For Mark, it’s really funny because I wanted Clive Burr, the first drummer from Maiden, Phil Rudd, AC/DC’s first drummer, or Peter Criss. If I had to pick three drummers that kicked my ass, those are the rock and roll drummers that I think of,” said Hopeless, remembering that the last time he ran into Cuzzetto, he was dressed as Peter Criss at the Commodore. “And I was like man…Mark Cuzzetto, you’re Peter Criss! You rule!”

Thus, rather organically, began the Bonitos. “We all got a call and it was kind of like this,” said Walsh breaking into an inspired impression of Hopeless channelling Joe Shithead. “‘Hey Chris, this is Billy. I’m starting a new band. I got some guys together; meet me at this place.’ And then I didn’t hear from him until I showed up at the door and met everybody.”

Walsh relates the mobilization of the Bonitos to the movie the Magnificent Seven. “He told me I had to play the part of Yul Brynner and he said ‘I’ve already got Charles Bronson and the other guys---just show up on this day.’ So we did. Now it’s just love and dysfunction and all kinds of other good things.”

The band shares influences “from AC/DC to ZZ Top, as long as it’s rock.” First and foremost, that includes the Ramones and Canadian road warriors such as DOA, SNFU, and the Subhumans.

“Anything you listen to, anything you see in your life is going to affect you,” reflected Hopeless. “There are so many beautiful things in this city that affect you, and then you’ve got music, television and movies. You can’t really narrow it down I think. I mean, Pinto’s shovelling horseshit and that’s got to affect you in some weird way.”

When asked what the musical direction of the band was, the question was abruptly shirked. “We play both kinds of music: rock and roll,” chuckled Hopeless saying that direction has become a common query. “You know me and you know what I’m into and I know what you’re into and it seems like we all like the same type of stuff and why don’t we just play and fucking not worry about direction? You can’t have direction; you’re going to get lost anyways. I mean, what’s the point of direction? There’s no rock n’ roll GPS.”

He also made it very clear that with the Bonitos, there’s no half assing it; you have to be in all the way. “This could be the last stand for a rock n’ roll band in this city, so I think for everyone it’s all or nothing; let’s just go. Let’s go really hard and let’s give it all we can and that’s sort of the direction I think, if there is a direction. Just let it all loose and hit ‘em with a barrage like a thousand Roman candles aimed at their crotches; let’s just go hard.”

And as for the sound? “It’s going to sound like something that’s beyond words,” said Hopeless mysteriously.

“That’s how bad it’s going to be,” laughed Pinto.

“Everyone always tries to be the best they can, why can’t you just go and shoot low?” reasoned Hopeless. “It’s way easier; that’s always my motto.”

So the goal is to conquer the bottom rung musically?

“Conquering the bottom is way easier,” explained Kato.

“Why try and shoot the stars when you can go to the beach and shoot clams?” asked Hopeless. “It’s way more fun. The bottom’s where all the good stuff is; all the heavy stuff sinks to the bottom.”

“That’s the album title right there,” chimed in Pinto. “Shooting Clams.”

“From the Bottom,” added Walsh to agreement and laughter.

“It’s just punk rock and roll,” described Hopeless. “It’s just us basically.”

“We’re the type of band that you raise your beer glass to and have fun,” said Walsh, raising his hand.

Much like the ease of their banter, the Bonitos also find themselves writing music naturally. With no principle songwriter, the process is collective and organic. “The very first time we got together was the very first time all of us had met, except for Billy,” said Cuzzetto. “We didn’t talk about what we were going to play, we didn’t talk about how it was going to sound, one of the guys just started playing guitar and the rest of us just sort of followed along.”

“It ain’t contrived,” summed up Hopeless. “You can’t try and force it because then it’s going to sound contrived and that’s not the point. The point is to do what comes natural or unnatural.”

Since his Black Halos days, Hopeless has always felt a great affection for Spain, naming the band because of a beautiful Spanish sentiment. While talking to a girl who writes for the Spanish equivalent of Rolling Stone, he asked her how to say beautiful in Spanish. “She said ‘Bonita, for me bonita,’ and I said ‘bye bye bonita’ and she said ‘for you bonito.’”

After the loss of close friend Kike, who had been responsible for bringing the Halo’s to Spain, Hopeless again spoke to the writer. “She said to me ‘Kike looked to you like his son and to me like his daughter’ and she goes ‘the Spanish love you so much because you love them. You must name the band in Spanish.’” Hopeless suggested Bonitos which means handsome man. “I also found out it means very large tuna,” laughed Hopeless. “And that makes sense too because it’s a big fish in a small pond attitude. Either way it sounds cool; it sounds like a gang.”

According to Walsh, the original name suggested was “Richard Thickopolous and the Perogie Rollers, but we just assumed that we couldn’t get on top of the pops with a name like that.”

But topping the charts is the last thing on anyone’s mind, especially if it risks compromising the integrity of the Bonitos music. “I still believe in rock and roll and I still love it,” said Hopeless. “I’m really glad getting this band together because I can say everyone here loves punk or they love rock and roll or both and that’s the key. That’s honesty. This is what we like and someone’s gotta play it because otherwise everyone’s just going to follow trends.”

The Bonitos are hard at work on their debut album, currently laying down bed tracks on a borrowed old school four-track cassette recorder. In fact, the first Halos 7 inch was recorded on a similar set-up. According to Hopeless, this method brings out a certain rawness that he is constantly striving for and helps avoid churning out an overproduced record. “It shouldn’t be perfect and it shouldn’t be clean; it should be raw, really raw and animalistic. And you get the little mistakes, you get the fuck ups. When you record digital you get this sound where everything’s too clean and too perfect and rock and roll ain’t meant to be that way.”

The unfinished recording has already received label inquiries and can be expected sometime in 2010, complete with what I’ve been assured will be amazing album art. Touring is also slated to start then.

“This band’s out to destroy and have a good time doing it,” grinned Hopeless alluding to the ferocious display of live energy to come at the Eldorado. “We hold parties, we don’t play shows man.”

The Bonitos play an all-ages show at the Fun House in Abbotsford January 23rd.